Say What???

Yesterday afternoon I said to one of the kids, "Close that door, and don't bother the snake while she's having her bath!"

I had to giggle to myself. Who would've ever thought I'd have the opportunity to say such a weird, random thing, and have it make perfect sense?! It just proves what I have believed for many years now... that of all the people on the planet, no matter where they're from or what language they speak, MOMS get to say the coolest things! Here are just a few of the sentences I can actually remember using over the past couple of decades. Some I explain below; some are either self-explanatory, or defy explanation. (Who puts pancakes in the dryer???) Imagine saying these things in a business meeting, at a cocktail party, or just tossing one or two into any intelligent adult conversation. I'd love it if any of you other moms could share some of yours!

"Stop painting your sister! And why is she wearing an eye patch?" (1)

"Spit out that bolt and eat your taco!"

"I'm pretty sure iguanas don't like Tootsie Pops." (2)

"Could someone come get this pancake out of the dryer for me?"

"Next time you decide to crack your head open, try to do it at home." (3)

"Did anybody notice there's a baby in the freezer?" (4)

"The second I stop the car, everybody pee!" (5)

"Did you put dead frogs in your pockets?"

"It's simple logic. You have to keep flesh-eating pets and vegetarian pets in separate jars." (6)

"I need you boys to put away all these body parts and vacuum up the powder." (7)

"Last time I checked, you still had six eyes!" (8)

"Wait, let me pull his skin off before you put him in his cage." (9)

"Who glued Mikaela to the sidewalk?" (10)

"If you don't like the taste of that, eat your leg instead." (11)


(1- Zack had dressed his sleeping, 4 month old sister as a pirate and was attempting to paint a rakish mustache on her.)
(2- My stepson actually did offer my iguana, Irwin, a taste of his lollipop. Irwin declined.)
(3- When Zack split his ear open on the playground at school and had to have stitches. I wasn't actually hoping he'd ever crack anything open again...)
(4- "The baby" was their sister's doll, which the boys had soaked and were trying to freeze solid, but the way I said it gave them all a fit of the giggles.)
(5- On a road trip to UT when the boys were 6, 4, and 3. And I didn't mean it literally.)
(6- We woke to discover that, during the night, Jordan's pack of wolf spiders had eaten the cool grasshopper he found. The few remaining bits and pieces told the tale.)
(7- I was referring to Lego Bionicle body parts, but the neighbor I was speaking to on the phone didn't know that.)
(8- Said to three boys at once.)
(9- Said in reference to our shedding lizard, but again, the person on the other end of the phone didn't know that.)
(10- It was actually a photo of Mikaela, but the kids laughed hysterically at the thought of Mikaela actually being glued to the ground.)
(11- Chicken leg, of course.)

Thursday's Thoughts - How Much Can a Koala Bear?

I have always had a fascination with Australia. I have longed to visit there since our class did a huge International Fair project in the 6th grade, and my teacher assigned the Australia portion to my team. It seemed to me the most wonderful place imaginable... beautiful, diverse, friendly, honest. I felt an affinity; a pull... at 10 years old I was convinced I belonged there. :) I briefly considered moving to Queensland after my divorce in 2003, and even looked into buying a home on the Sunshine Coast, just outside a town called Caloundra. After all, hasn't Australia always been the ideal place for starting fresh and reinventing one's life? In the end, I decided the time and circumstances weren't right. If I ever move Down Under, I want it to be because I'm running towards something, not running away from something.

Because of this long-standing affection for Australia, and also because it's now my sister's home, I have followed the news of the raging wildfires in Victoria with deep concern. I have been unable to keep my mind off those people who have been injured, lost their homes and possessions, and worst of all, lost their loved ones. My heart aches for them. More than 200 people are confirmed dead, and over 100 are reported missing. Even as some of the fires are brought under control one by one, the news continues to be grim.

Just this morning, I finally watched a video that made me smile. The footage, shot well over a week ago on a cell phone camera, shows CFA volunteer firefighter David Tree giving water to an injured koala he spotted while participating in a backburning operation at Mirboo North.

"I could see she had sore feet and was in trouble, so I pulled over the fire truck. She just plonked herself down, as if to say 'I'm beat'," Tree said.

"I offered her a drink and she drank three bottles.

"The most amazing part was when she grabbed my hand. I will never forget that."



The most remarkable thing about this footage is that, despite their incredibly cute and cuddly appearance, wild koalas are not typically friendly. They have impressive claws, and no qualms about using them. They will also bite. A friend of mine, who once encountered a large koala on his grandfather's property, told me "He made a terrible racket and let us know straightaway that we weren't to come any closer. Koalas would as soon tear your face off as anything." They certainly wouldn't be inclined to approach a human for hugs or a little hand-holding! :)

The thirsty koala, now nicknamed Sam by her rescuers, had second degree burns on her paws, and is being cared for at the Mountain Ash Wildlife Shelter in Rawson, VIC. Her carers say she is doing well, and has even found a boyfriend named Bob, who follows Sam around, and hugs her from time to time. Bob is also being treated for burned paws. The shelter staff expect both koalas to be returned to the wild in 4-8 months. As busy as they are, wildlife rescuers had anticipated more injured animals than they have seen so far. They fear that means most have not fared as well as Bob and Sam, and officials are now estimating that the number of animals perishing in the fires will reach into the millions.

So, the news from Australia is still grim, and will likely continue so for some time. My prayers go out to everyone effected, not only by the fires, but the floods as well. The reason this particular story touched me, and so many other people around the world, is simply that it inspires hope. It does one's heart good to know that not every story out of terrible circumstances has a tragic ending. With thousands and thousands of goodhearted people serving and supporting one another so generously through this disaster, Australia will most certainly pull through. She always does.

Silly Things

I get these "tag" things all the time on Facebook. I confess, I like them. :) I have always enjoyed quizzes. When I was eight years old, my grandma gave me a book called "All About Me" which was full of questions very much like the ones below. I loved that book, and filled the whole thing out (over 100 pages) in less than a week! I always think of that book when I'm working on these things... I thought it would be fun to share one here.

SILLY THINGS TAG

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes... My mom had a high school friend named Cynthia, and both of my grandmothers had the middle name Marie, so I'm Cynthia Marie.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Just this morning, when I read an article about how they are finding the bodies of the people killed in the fires in Australia. I cry a lot, actually... over happy things, or sad things, or anything. :) A good cry is a good thing!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I think I write too big and round... like a teenage girl.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I don't eat meat anymore... I'm a reluctant vegetarian (for medical reasons).

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
TONS! 3 sons, 1 daughter, 3 stepdaughters, and 1 stepson. And, in case you were wondering, eight really is enough!!!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU
Sure, but we probably wouldn't get time to hang out much.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
What... me? Sarcasm? Never!!! ;)

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
I still have all of my original equipment!

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I wish I could say yes, but I know I would chicken out at the last second.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Frosted Mini-Wheats

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I don't usually wear shoes that tie, now that I think of it. If I did, I'm certain I wouldn't bother to untie them.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
A really great vanilla-bean ice cream is my favorite. I know... boring, right? But you can turn vanilla into anything, and I'm a "toppings" girl!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
It sounds a little airy-fairy, but I think I notice their energy first. I think every person gives off a vibe that would be obvious to anyone who took the time to experience it. Sparkly eyes... I love sparkly eyes. :)

15. RED OR PINK...
Awww... pink!

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That it's so difficult to maintain a consistent weight. Frustrating!!!

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My grandmother, who passed away on Mother's Day.

18. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB?
I have wanted to be a professional photographer for as long as I can remember. I have a candid style... photojournalism appeals to me. That would be an awesome job!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue jeans and bare feet.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
A mixed playlist of new releases. I love to check out the new stuff!

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Lavender with iridescent sparkles! I saw one in my daughter's box, and thought, "Perfect!" :)

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
New babies, any pina colada smell, Christmassy scents (like cinnamon and spices), outside after the rain, the piney smell of my favorite campsite, the ocean, coffee (which I don't drink anymore), fabric softener, bleach (weird, right?), my daughters' freshly washed hair, spiced oatmeal cookies baking... I could go on and on.......

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My son, Derek, who has his own cell phone now, and loves to call me! How sweet is that?!

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Very much! Carolynn and I were instant friends many, many years back. (I slashed her carpet up with a razor knife, and she pulled an airplane out of my foot!) I wish we'd had more time to be neighbors and know each other better! I think she's absolutely lovely!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Ice skating, gymnastics and (shhh....) NASCAR. I know.. weird and inconsistent with pretty much every other thing about me, but I can't help it!

27. HAIR COLOR?
Right now I'm officially "Dark Auburn" :)

28. EYE COLOR?
Hazel

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes, and may God bless whoever invented them!

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Cheese enchiladas, summer fruits, sushi, olives, vegetable soup, jell-o, smoothies, and the occasional naughty deep-fried treat (mushrooms, zucchini, calamari, tempura, fries)

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings... or even scary movies WITH happy endings!

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I don't go very often... I think it was Ghost Town, which was much better than I expected it to be.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black, with little rhinestone sparklies.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer! Bring on the heat!!!

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs and cheek kisses.

37. HABIT YOU CAN'T GIVE UP?
Hmm... I'm going to have to say caffeine.

38. HABIT YOU SUCCESSFULLY GAVE UP?
I stopped biting my nails in 2002.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
This will make me sound boring. Last night I started reading The Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
It's just black... but it has one of those cool wrist-rest things.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Reruns of "Frasier." Love it!

42. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
Laughter, rain, music, "I love you", the ocean, cats purring, the forest at night, "Thanks, Mom"......

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles. Mick Jagger gives me the creeps.

44. WHATS THE FARTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?
Japan and Korea, although I'm not sure that counts, since "home" WAS Japan at the time.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Portrait photography

46 WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
LaJolla (San Diego) California

47. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
At a party at my friend's house... where we both showed up with other dates. Oops! ;)

48. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT HIM/HER?
He can fix or make anything... I'm not kidding... ANYTHING!!! He is, hands down, the most talented man on the planet. And he loves me. :)

Thursday's Thoughts

I have one major, overriding complaint this week... TIME! I don't know what happens to my time. I feel like I'm busy all day long, but at the end of the day I look around and don't see any progress. My husband is too sweet to ever ask the age-old question, and he doesn't even have to. Every night as I make one last pass through the house, checking on the kids and locking up, I'm thinking to myself, "What in the world did I do all day?" I do a lot of running around, picking up, parenting, fixing, communicating, errand running, and so on. There just isn't any obvious proof of all my active busyness. I have read books on time management, taken courses on organization, made countless lists of goals and intentions... but at the end of every day it's always the same. My house is a cluttered mess, my schedule is as scattered as my thoughts, and my short-term memory is... what was it I was going to say about my memory...?

I know that the way I talk to myself about the state of my house and my schedule isn't helping. I beat myself up about constantly. I call myself names. I lament, even. "I'm so far behind that I'll never catch up," is a common (albeit dramatic) theme for me. Given that I have convinced myself I'm so far behind that I'll never catch up, I suppose that on some level I have just plain quit the game. What's the point, right? Not a very powerful way to look at the issue. The coach in me is appalled!

"I never do anything right" or "I'm a pathetic excuse for a wife and a mom" sneak in there all time, because I'm not just forgetting trivial stuff... I forget major stuff! I forgot to register my son for school. I forgot to request a copy of my daughter's birth certificate. I forgot to tell my friend (with whom my husband was on a date when I met him) that we actually got married... almost three years ago. We're talking MAJOR dropped balls here. And then there are the minor things... I never take clothes to the cleaners anymore, because I never remember to pick them up.

I want a beautiful home (mine looks like the houses they tear down on Extreme Makeover Home Edition). I want an organized schedule (that isn't written down on four-thousand sticky notes all over the place). I want INTEGRITY (I said I would do it, and I actually DO IT!). I want ALL of that, but at the end of the day, I fall back into bed, frustrated and exhausted and not a single step ahead of where I was twenty-four hours earlier. I'm chasing my tail.


I think it all goes back to what I said last Thursday about COMMITMENT, and my seminar leader's assertion, "Whatever you have right now, THAT'S what you're committed to! If you were committed to something else, you'd HAVE something else!" I have to ask myself, "What am I really committed to?" If I were committed to having a clean house, I'd have one. That makes perfect logical sense to me. If I were committed to maintaining a schedule that works for my entire family, I'd have one, and I believe I'd find myself with time to spare. If I were committed to remembering things, big and small, I WOULD. (I never forget to make the house payment on time... interesting...) Saying I'm committed will never make a difference if I'm not taking actions consistent with what I say I'm committed to.

There's something else that has just occurred to me as a contributing factor. I'm LOUSY at asking for help. I would rather DIE than ask a friend to come and help me. People have offered to help in the past, but I've turned them down so often that nobody asks anymore. I won't even ask for advice, or hints, or tips. Nada. I'm too embarrassed. I once compared myself to a china doll that's been dropped on it's head a dozen times... I need to be moving fast enough, so that no one will notice the cracks; if I move too fast for too long, I'm certain to fall to pieces. The bottom line is I don't want anyone to know I don't have it all together.

This is the issue I'll be tackling with my coach tomorrow (having already forgotten to call him twice this week). I let you know how it goes. I'm nervous. A little Super Glue before the call might not be a bad idea. :)

In closing, I'm going to steal a page from Danielle LaPorte, a fabulous rock star of a self-realization guru whom I admire very much. Here's what I'm LOVING this Thursday:

1. That I'm coachable.

2. That my sixteen year old son is an improvisational wizard of a comedian! He cracks me up at least a dozen times a day!

3. That when I get home from my weekend out of town, my baby sister will be back up from Down Under, visiting at my parents house!

4. White Hot Truth and The Happiness Project. Evocative. Difference making. Inspiring. I can't go a day without reading them anymore.

5. I just received the title to the very first car that I have ever bought and paid for on my own... and, in five years, I never once made a late payment!

6. YouCanMakeThis.com. If I don't know how to make it, somebody here will show me.

7. My new hair color... Dark Auburn. It's the first time I have ever put permanent color on my hair. It's been a week for firsts! I should probably mention that dyeing my hair Dark Auburn has not prevented me from continuing to have frequent blonde moments. :)

8. My fifteen year old son's cat, Mango, has finally (after 2 years) decided I'm cool. We had a nice, long coze as he sat on my lap in the studio today. Naturally, I did all the talking; he's a great listener!

9. Low Fat, Sugar Free Creamsicles. There IS a God!

10. That I said I would update my blog on Thursday, and I have done! Complete integrity, here I come!