From the Quirky Lit-Up Mind of Zack

With Jon searching for a new job, there is every possibility that we will have to relocate sometime in the next few months. With that possibility in mind, I have been de-junking closets and containers all month. I didn't realize I was treasure hunting, but I've been finding treasures anyway. Last week I came across a Rubbermaid container full of old papers and art projects from the boys' elementary school years.

Zack has always had a huge vocabulary and a fantastically creative mind. He is famous among the high school teachers for his quick wit and quirky, mature sense of humor. Honestly, the kid's an improvisational genius!

Zack's second grade teacher was a great writer herself, and was committed to teaching the kids to write creatively on their own. She would give them a topic or a starter sentence and basically say "off you go!" Given carte blanche, Zack thrived in that class, and here are three examples of his writing assignments (copied verbatim). I remember reading these for the first time, and laughing so hard I was crying and couldn't catch my breath! I thought it would be fun to share this blast from Zack's past with all of you!



When I Grow Up I Will Be A...
By Zack Poulson 2nd Grade

When I grow up, I will be a vet. Not the war kind. The doctor kind. People will bring me their sick, broken, run over, barfing or bald animals and I will fix them and make them well.

After I fix the animals I'll send the owners a big bill and they'll say "Holy cow! Can you believe this big bill?"

If I can't fix a animal and it just dies, I will call the owners on the phone and say "Too bad, but your pet is dead. Better luck next time!"

If my brother Jordan has a zoo I will work there at his zoo fixing zoo animals. I would like to fix chameleons and tigers and zebras and crocodiles, but not elephants because you never know when they will poop and I could be standing under them and get buried.

I will like being a vet because animals are the coolest on earth!



My Home
By Zack Poulson

I love my cozy but huge house. I like to cuddle with my stuffed Pikachu when I go to bed. When I go outside and sit on the bench, I feel uncomfortable because it's made of wood, not fluff. My house has 15 rooms. My bedroom is painted rainbow. I like to jump rope in the living room. But one day when I was jumping rope in the living room I heard something but I didn't know what it was so I kept jumping. I was just about to 1030 jumps but my mom caught me because she is like a ninja. Now I can't do that anymore. My window is decorated with orange paper pumpkins because it's close to Halloween. I have a sometimes hot and sometimes cold swimming pool where insects go in but they never come out. My house is made of brickes. The end.



If I Were Christopher Columbus
By Zack Poulson 2nd Grade

If I were Christopher Columbus, I would not have asked Queen Isabela for the ships. I would just take them and by the time she found out I would be in the middle of the ocean already.

If I were Christopher Columbus, I wouldn't name my ships dumb names like Ninya, Pinta and Santa Maria. I would give them cool names like Avenger, Terminator, and the Battleship Collosus.

If I were Christopher Columbus, I wouldn't discover America. Instead I would discover Australia. I would round up some kangaroos and koalas and goanas and bearded lizards and open a zoo in Portugal.

If I were Christopher Columbus, I wouldn't tell Queen Isabela where Australia was. I would keep it for myself.

If I were Christopher Columbus, I wouldn't wear those stupid tights and baloonish underwear or a slinky around my neck. I'd wear shorts like Steve Irwin and my new iguana shirt.