One of those days...

I have three main complaints at this moment. If you think that they sound unimportant, you should know that, in my mind, taking into account number three and the fact that it's 2 A.M. and I'm still awake due in large part to number two and in some part to number one, they seem like highly significant problems.

First... I have been a mother for over eighteen years, and, as it turns out, I have not had any idea what I was doing since they weaned themselves and left their diapers behind forever. In the realm of parenting, I am a clueless wonder.

Second... My left ear has been ringing for almost three hours and it's making me insane. Were this to continue, I would most certainly be certifiable within the week. William Shatner's ear rang for ages and ages and did he complain? Heck, yeah! He says it ended his second marriage... he even thought about killing himself over it. You'll be pleased to know that I have not yet reached either of those critical junctures, but it is driving me up the wall.

Third and finally... If you look up "hormonally imbalanced basket case" in the encyclopedia, you will find a picture of me there. I am completely unreasonable, and ridiculously emotional. I gain weight on the "No Cheese, No Fun, No Joy" diet, freeze my butt off all day long, and cry just because it feels good. I'm convinced that mood swings are only built on the Devil's playground. This afternoon, as I gazed at my brand new, very sparkly french manicure, I felt sexy and sassy... a mere twelve hours later I am old, upset, and wholly uninspirable. Spell check says that "uninspirable" isn't a word, and I don't even care. I just re-read my last post, and when I got to the end I thought to myself, "Pffft!"

If I wake up tomorrow and number two is no longer an issue, I'll be my cheerful self again, because that's the nature of number three. Number one may continue to be true, but with any luck I'll discover that loving them so much that it aches inside and being a passionately committed stand that they have happy and fulfilling lives will be enough to get them safely through to adulthood.

And my nails still look amazing.